Morning Person

I am not a morning person.  Never really have been, although I try like hell.  There was a time in my life when I WAS a morning person.  When he and I first started dating, any time he stayed the night I always woke up in a good mood (for obvious reasons, duh, he stayed the night).  HE however is a morning person, an irritatingly always in a good mood, happy morning person.  I envy him! 

This morning he woke up from a brief nap giggling.  He dreamed about Nick Saban of all people.  Me being the Aggie that I am find myself thinking WTF?!  Nick Saban?!  Oh please tell me more.

There is a fact, Alabama fans worship Nick Saban, despite those of us with a brain realizing he is not Christ incarnate.  In his dream, the people of Alabama erected a statue of Nick Saban.  A statue similar to the one in Rio, or for us southern folk, like the one in Eureka Springs, Arkansas on the grounds of the Passion Play.  Nick Saban, arms out-stretched as if welcoming all of his Bama children to come worship him, which they do. 

Insert Saban's face above

Now add thousands of sloths, much like the sloth in Ice Age (I don't have kids, I can't remember his name).  All these sloths standing at the feet of the statue of Nick Saban, chanting and singing. 

What the hell goes through this man's mind....what did he eat that would cause him to have a dream like this. 

LOL  I have no idea, but that $h!ts funny!!

Some people are just stupid - and funny because of it!

It never ceases to amaze me how dumb some people really are.  Take those who act like the know everything yet can spell nothing (I know these people trust me).  Or those who have simple brain farts (I have them constantly at the enjoyment of my husband).  Then there are these!  Oh my - keep them away from me! 

Stupid People

Assailant suffers injuries from fall - yeah right!

Out of the mouths of babes....

From the mouths of Babes

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
 
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
 
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
 
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
 
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
 
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
 
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear

Extremely Misleading Photos - Interestingly funny!

Sometimes seeing ISN'T believing....  Just check this stuff out

Misleading Photos

Gotta love awesome family photos!

This $h!t is funny!!

FAMILY PHOTOS

The official Pace Car!

'Nuff Said!

Drunken boot pictures

Good in theory, not good in pictures.  LOL

Hey, I think we know this guy!

Fred likes playing with his meat...

Can you do THIS?!

Eating grapes right out of the fridge, and NO, I didn't wash them.  Dropped one on the floor, it's not like I'm going to eat it after I drop it on the floor.  Tossed it to the sink and the sucker stood up on end on the edge of the counter.  I rock!!

Wonder if Apple knows?

Ever wonder what to do with those funny texts you get or send? #thisisit

 

I love our kid!

She's got a funny thing going on!! 

 

And she has friends!!  We ARE proud!

Someone tell my mom the vacuum isn't plugged in please!

Did it again...Sigh...

Well, I did it again...wore my clothes backwards.  That's twice in one week...really?!  How do I do this stuff?

Let's start with Monday...get up to go run.  "Must go to bed early Sunday night" I said.  Go to bed early I did.  Should have laid my gym clothes out first, but no, I didn't.

Get up at 6:15 am *yawn* (I'm tired just thinking about it).  Go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, brush my hair, pull hair back in a pony tail, put ball cap on.  Go in the closet...damn forgot to pee...go to bathroom to do my business...Grab a sports bra, tank top and yoga pants (cuz I'm stylish that way).   Throw clothes on, grab running shoes and put them on.  Dang, forgot socks, oh well, it'll be ok, I work out in these shoes all the time and they ARE running shoes, no socks needed (mistake #1).

Go to the kitchen, grab my 1 liter bottle of water and add Advocare Spark (Mandarin Orange mind you).  Now, I'm all set, let's go out the garage and hit the road.

Leave the alley, turn down the street.  Now I should let you know I live in the "urban" part of Frisco known as Frisco Square.  Urban shopping, urban living in a very suburban town, but hey, I have a 3 story town home and I feel cool that way. 

I make my way through the streets and alleys (because at one point the husband told me some of these townhomes had small pools in the back - I saw no pools but am very jealous of those with "backyards" regardless of how small they are).

Running my little arse off (ok, it was probably more of a very very fast walk, but I feel accomplished), I get to Frisco Square or the town hall area and that's when I noticed it.  Looking at my shadow cast by the now rising sun, I see that something in my reflection doesn't look right...I look down and sure enough, my soccer mom uniform yoga pants are inside out.

Oh crap, has anyone seen me? Yes, some guy backing out of his garage in a Mitsubishi Eclipse.  Ok, he's a guy and probably wouldn't notice anyway.

Wait, is there a tag on the back of the pants? No, because they came from Vicki's store and have a roll top...great!!  but hey, on the bright side, now I can wear them again tomorrow, the right way... LOL

Halloweens Past

 Halloween can be a scary time of year (yes every stupid pun intended).  I have often wondered what people did many many years back.  Someone actually took the time to find out. 

Check out this creep factor.  Holy Cow....

Wow...and we thought some of today's costumes were creepy!

This is one of the funniest things I've seen all day!!!

Funny shit!!

I hope to be this funny when I grow up!

Enjoy!!

Dolores Del Rio Italian Restaurant - San Antonio Riverwalk

Some of the funniest things I've come across are restaurants.  To start my blog, I've gone back through my Yelp account (yes I actually use it and write reviews regularly) and am posting a few of the oddest or funniest here...

First one - here we go.

Yelp review:

Dolores Del Rio Italian Restaurant - San Antonio Riverwalk

Friends recommended this place - What an ODD experience!!  I didn't know if I was in a restaurant, a circus side show or on a bad acid trip?!    First tip should have been the fact that we couldn't find the restaurant...we should have kept walking.  BUT, if we did that we would have missed this experience!

Dark restaurant, SO dark I had to use my phone to read the menu!  And talk about weird, I can only say bizarre decor!  The poor jazz pianist had to play on an out of tune piano. : (  Our table actually spun around, which reinforced my "maybe this is a bad acid trip" thought.  Only had beer and wine, but the only wine was a Chianti, and I was afraid the beer would be warm and flat.  The server kept bringing it to me after I told him NO.  Bread was all butter and gross.  They were OUT of lasagna!  Yes folks, this is an Italian restaurant!  Food was BLAND at best, as a matter of fact I think I found myself have a "Lean Cuisine" flashback.

Belly dancer came out (really?? WTH?)  I had to look around to make sure I was in an Italian restaurant.  Not cute, not good, and once again I had to check myself when she began accepting tips like a stripper!

If you want good food, STAY AWAY!!  If you want an experience you can make fun of on Facebook like I did, COME ON IN!  Bring all your friends!

Doing it

Doing it, yes I'm doing it.  In my many travels I come across some of the most ridiculous things...it's time to share with the world (buahahahahahaha)....Be prepared, you could be part of this crazy ride.  I will do my best to change the names to protect the innocent (or shall we say silly, goofy, funny, stupid, drunk, pick a category), but there will be no promises.