From the mouths of Babes
NUDITY
I was driving with my three
young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible
ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling
from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son
Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped
his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago.
KETCHUP
A woman was trying
hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she
added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the
YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted,
the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While
working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I
used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs,
unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy
will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching
her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo,
she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not,
darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next
morning."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week
of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't
read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little
boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that
had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the
boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in
the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear
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